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Resolute Resolutions!

January 9, 2010

Hokay. So,2010 has arrived. And people still talk about how they  “cant believe how fast the past year went by”. If only they read Einsteins theory of Relativity properly, the e=mc^2 shite. Okay, lets leave physics for some other day.

All around me, people talk of new year resolutions and how tough it is to stick to them. I, keeping in view my awesomeness, have never failed in keeping up any of my resolutions. Yes.Never.

Cause, I never make resolutions.

But, after an intense soul searching by me a few days back, I have decided to take a few resolutions. Though I do not plan to implement them in this year. On second thoughts, it is more of a bucket list or ‘few-things-I would-do-before-I-cease-to-exist”.

In no particular order of preference, I present to you, the list of some of the things which shall be accomplished by me in my lifetime.

  • Bungee Jump. Always wanted to know how exactly does a possessed person feel like. For what else can explain jumping off a board some 300ft above ground. So, ya. Since I shall already be possessed by the time I get to know how it feels to be possessed, I would continue to make the plunge.
  • Meet AR Rahman. Yeah. A crazy fan of his.
  • Watch a FormulaOne race in Monaco. Keeping aside the fact that I am totally a F1 material driver, who wouldn’t want to watch the scarlet red machine whiz past the hallowed tunnel of Monaco? If you are among the people who wouldn’t want to, then its about time you get a life.
  • Learn over 12 languages. How cool would it be to converse in over a dozen languages? Apart from helping in scoring chics, it would help in learning about the various cultures across the world, and give a better understanding about various customs and traditions(not). Currently working on mastering Portuguese by 2016, just in time for the Rio Games, because <insert own reason here>
  • Visit more than 70% of the existing countries. Since I cannot possibly show off my ALL my language skills staying in one city/country all my life, I would be traveling. I shall then proceed to amaze the people of various other countries and inspire their lives in the process. This would further my cause as an undisputed legendary icon of this generation.
  • Watch the FIFA World Cup finals in a stadium. India, face it suckers, would NEVER qualify for the FIFA finals in the next 243 years. After 243 years, the football playing nations would junk football for cricket, which is when India’s downfall in cricket would start, coinciding with Sachin’s retirement. Also, hosting the event is out of question. That leaves me with the option of taking up a pilgrimage to another country and watch.
  • Earn a gazillion. Duh!

Apart from this list, there is another list, called “Things-I-am-dying-to-do-but-cannot”.  It goes like this,

  • Kill Barkha Dutt, Sagarika Ghose and the likes. (the media, generally)
  • Strangle Arundhati Roy.

That pretty much sums up everything i guess. Any help in turning any of them into reality, including the “Things-I-am-dying-to-do-but-cannot”, is much appreciated.

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