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Please consider this as a personal invitation.

December 6, 2012

“Hi ra, I am going to Hyderabad next week”

“Oh, whose marriage?”

“Rambabu’s marriage ra”

See that conversation? These days pretty much all conversations revolve around marriage, and it is taken for granted that if you are going someplace else, it is to attend a friend’s wedding, or worse, your own wedding. You can’t escape the endemic. If you happen to miss the wedding, your facebook wall will be flooded with real time updates of the same. If not that, there is always your friendly neighbourhood “photographer” who goes to cover every wedding in the town. Getting on to the internet or checking text messages these days is akin to stepping on a land mine. Every other notification is somebody’s relationship status update, or a wedding date announcement.

This is how it all starts.

Guy meets girl. Girl meets guy. Decide to get married.

The boy, after countless (fake) relationship status updates about imaginary girlfriends is finally thrilled to announce to the world that he is actually getting married. Changes status right away. A dozen “congos” and “whoz d lucky gurl ha???” later things settle down for a while.

Then comes the engagement. Cue for girl to change her profile AND cover picture to a picture of a ring or hand in hand pictures. Or better still, a bokeh shot of the ring.

Enter the photographer.

This is where things go from bad to worse. Sudden deluge of pictures starts.

“Couple shots” or pictures in the following style start appearing:

<candid>

1. Looking at infinity

2. Pointing at infinity

3. Laughing at the coconut tree

4. Looking into each other almost as if they are using each other’s eyes as rear view mirrors.

5. Fake kissing each other

6. Hand in hand

7. Silhouettes of them at sunset/sunrise

8. Pictures of foot

9. Dressing up in front of a mirror

</candid>

and so on.

Since everybody looks the same in these pictures, I wonder what is the need to go for a new photoshoot at all. Just copy someone else’s photos if you want pictures of foot, footprints and you in some obscure corner of the frame no? What only ra babu. These photographer types are to be blamed. What with the easy availability of cameras and gear, and with everyone getting married like there is no tomorrow, a whole new industry of wedding photographers has come on into existence.

On that note, is there a study which shows how facebook has resulted in a spike in camera sales, which in turn has resulted in a spike in the number of photography pages on facebook, which in turn led to an increase in marriages only to be featured on these pages? It’s a vicious cycle ra babu. These weddings have spawned a whole new industry of these bloody wedding photographers.

With the big day not too far away, there is activity all over. Facebook events are made, wedding invites are sent with all the recipients kept in CC, and some dudes doing a “reply all” to those invites.

A sample invite email reads something like this -

“Life takes you to strange places at times. From godforsaken and downtrodden places like Bombay Airport to a place filled with colour and life like a Kalyana Mandapam. In a bizzarre coincidence, I happened to meet the love of my life, and my soul mate just 3 weeks before my marriage. We’re getting married in that Kalyana Mandapam near the Girls Hostel in Ramnagar. Please consider this as a personal invitation from me and grace the occasion”

There was one time when a friend of mine responded to one such mail by saying “Please consider this as my personal wedding gift” and attached a scanned copy of a Rs 1000 note.

Just in case you happen to miss the fact that they are getting married, a countdown till the D-Day is done through status messages, and in some cases pictures too.

Weddings are fun, actually. You get to eat awesome food, see pretty people (never happened in my case, though), meet long lost friends who then announce that they are getting married the next month, BTW. There are so many photographers at weddings these days, that I am willing to believe couples live their paparazzi dream through their own wedding. Pretty sure they send out special invites to all their friends who own an SLR.

Protip: If at the reception or the baraat, someone forces you to dance, snatch the nearest camera you see and tell them you’re taking photographs. They’ll leave you alone. Always works. Or better still, just keep a camera with you at all times.

You’d think now that they are married, it’s all good and back to normal. But no.

A picture of the girl in her bridal outfit and holding a coconut, or a hand with mehendi surfaces. A few days later, an album called “Us :)” appears with pictures of the married couple. Few more weeks, and pictures from their honeymoon at an exotic location appear.

And to top it all, even Google+ is flooded with post wedding photos now. Sigh.

Anyway, when is your marriage?

88 Comments leave one →
  1. Dhanraj permalink
    December 6, 2012 6:26 pm

    kthanxbai

  2. December 6, 2012 6:29 pm

    Hahaha. 100% aptly put Sir! Best was photography part! But sadly this we all have to tolerate no! Also, some people try to act smart by sending that mail of ‘I’m finally tying the knot!’ mail!

  3. December 6, 2012 6:32 pm

    Heh :D For me the worst part of all this social hungama is, they send out invites that read “My marriage invitation” to all their friends. Now for you, you do not know who the heck is getting married, and you are forced to look at the invitation to check who actually is getting married. Must be a strategy !

    • December 11, 2012 7:01 pm

      Building up the suspense before revealing the plot? Classic ploy!

  4. sushma permalink
    December 6, 2012 7:19 pm

    so true… well written n experienced!!

  5. December 6, 2012 8:02 pm

    Haha! So true- every word!
    I keep hearing older people saying “there are no muhurthams for the next few months”. But FB seems to contradict it!
    I already follow your protip- keeps me off the dance floor and out of the ‘professional’ pictures too!

  6. rbprod permalink
    December 7, 2012 1:23 am

    Seems like you have missed these http://vimeo.com/53100794

    • December 11, 2012 10:04 am

      that was a gem :)

  7. sreekar permalink
    December 7, 2012 2:29 am

    My thoughts exactly!! loved the way you used xml style for the candid photographs.

  8. December 7, 2012 3:48 am

    When is your marriage? :P

  9. December 7, 2012 4:15 am

    The real torture begins after marriage I think. The honeymoon & like you rightly said ‘Us’ pictures :D. And then every small thing they do for each other has to be of course shared with us. AND yes the guy posting ‘food’ pictures as if his mom never gave him food before marriage. Very well written!

    • December 11, 2012 7:03 pm

      “the guy posting ‘food’ pictures as if his mom never gave him food before marriage”

      Pwned :D

  10. anand permalink
    December 7, 2012 4:37 am

    too good ra babu! I want an slr… Too much peer pressure now

  11. Geet permalink
    December 7, 2012 4:39 am

    Hmm :) Most of it is true. But come on, you will feel woozy when you are in the spot. Most people don’t know how to express what they feel when they are ‘tying the knot’. It’s all a big drama. You are ‘expected’ to do so many things. And the reason for all that is… there is nothing better you can do.
    1. Either you take pics the way the photographer wants or max customize it to a bit of how you want OR take pics on your phone camera. Dude! You would need pics to remember the day that changed your life. I am not saying the magical day blah blah. The day that CHANGED UR LIFE! U can always look back and say… ya.. that’s the day it all started ;)

    2. Facebook has become the platform for ppl to ‘tell the world’ that they are married. This is also a platform which leads to a lot of relationship issues… ‘Whaaa!! WTF… u got married? U didnt invite me!’. Tats one. Another one would be…. ‘I’m so happy for u’.. R U?

    3. Let’s not forget the invitations thru facebook. ‘EVENT invitation’. Seriously? U want me to attend your wedding, that’s in a corner of the country, and that I was not really invited to because you sent me a group invitation for an ‘event’ on Facebook?! I simply do not like these invitations at all. Oh! One more thing… at the time of the wedding you usually get an alert about the wedding happening! You look at it and say ‘Haan! So today was the wedding. good for them’ and you put the phone away.

    Once all this is over, you have to go home and everyone forgets about you. They remember you and your new spouse when they see you at ….. this is the best part …. someone else’s Wedding ;)

    • Arvind permalink
      December 7, 2012 6:16 am

      “sigh” for just attending a wedding, wait for your wedding dude that should be legendary(:P)

  12. December 7, 2012 6:04 am

    For a moment there, i thought u were announcing sth on ur blog.
    Anyway, inboxing you my invite. please come off ra :D

    • December 11, 2012 7:04 pm

      Will come off! :D Congratulations :)

  13. December 7, 2012 6:51 am

    “Laughing at coconut tree” is my favorite.

    Then there are the cheesy software engineering wedding invitations. We are uplinking to the prozect called marriaze. Please download food and upload gifts or something like that.

    • December 11, 2012 7:05 pm

      They should technically be sending out wedding invitations with BSOD theme, actually. Will be close to reality.

  14. Ritika permalink
    December 7, 2012 7:32 am

    Good observation prads!!Your sense of humor is bang on!!The thing is..even after knowing all this…people will continue advertising there wedding moments with facebook geeks!!

    • December 11, 2012 7:05 pm

      Thanks Ritika :)

  15. December 7, 2012 7:38 am

    Laughing at coconut tree….LOL this funny

    • December 11, 2012 7:05 pm

      :)

  16. December 7, 2012 10:44 am

    Hey You forgot about the latest Fad to hit the online market! WEDDING SITES!!! The most horrible of all!!

    • December 11, 2012 7:07 pm

      Damn, missed out on that. Those sites with their “love story” and describing the love for each other. Sigh.

  17. December 7, 2012 10:44 am

    Awesome read!

    • December 11, 2012 7:07 pm

      :)

  18. Sravanthy permalink
    December 7, 2012 4:44 pm

    Awesome one ! you stole my words. This is exactly how i feel about marriage right now. I just what to ban “when is your marriage” question.

    • December 11, 2012 7:08 pm

      Thank you! :)

      “When is your marriage?” is the new “Hello, how are you?”.

  19. December 7, 2012 5:34 pm

    Exactly my feelings.one of my friends virtually got married on FB,She kept on giving live updates of her own marriage through different stages! Phew, we did not log into FB for week after that ordeal!

    • December 11, 2012 7:08 pm

      Hehehe!

  20. December 7, 2012 6:13 pm

    Your post reflected my exact thoughts :) Despite being a Photographer I am scared to tell people I own DSLR because it has become like a joke these days!!And the typical candid shots of just the engagement ring, or a random flower shows the heights of desperation of Wedding Photographers to prove their creativity :D FB has made private life public anyway!

  21. subbulakshmistoned permalink
    December 7, 2012 10:45 pm

    this topic is so close to my heart. thanks for writing about it ra Rambabu.

  22. Janani permalink
    December 9, 2012 5:36 pm

    Super like …..BTW ma wedding is this march

    • December 11, 2012 7:08 pm

      Congratulations! :)

  23. December 10, 2012 3:47 am

    Absolutely brillaint!
    In fact, I’m going to Madurai next, did you not know?!

    As for the last question, let’s say hopefully after 10 years or so. :P

    • December 11, 2012 7:09 pm

      Thanks a lot! And have all the awesome wedding food at Madurai! :)

  24. December 10, 2012 10:15 am

    I dont know if this social hogwash-ing is necessary all the time! I loved every bit of it! Shared it on my facebook page!

    • December 11, 2012 7:09 pm

      Thanks a lot :)

  25. svabhishek permalink
    December 10, 2012 11:24 am

    hahahahahahahaha … !!!!! Superb .. Well written … :)

  26. December 11, 2012 3:50 am

    Facebook funda busted. LOL :-)

  27. December 11, 2012 5:06 am

    Lol
    laughed lous at scanned 1000 gift and this invitation “Life takes you to strange places at times. From godforsaken and downtrodden places like Bombay Airport to a place filled with colour and life like a Kalyana Mandapam. In a bizzarre coincidence, I happened to meet the love of my life, and my soul mate just 3 weeks before my marriage. We’re getting married in that Kalyana Mandapam near the Girls Hostel in Ramnagar. Please consider this as a personal invitation from me and grace the occasion”
    No creativity at all babu but ya DIGITAL REVOLUTION ERA it is ..cant help ;)

    • December 11, 2012 7:10 pm

      Hehe, true that. Thank you :)

  28. mathew permalink
    December 11, 2012 5:20 am

    excellent write up! a scanned copy of a 1000 rupee note is hilarious

    • December 11, 2012 7:10 pm

      True story! ;)

  29. December 11, 2012 9:29 am

    Hahaha the thing about “meeting his/her soul mate just 3 weeks before marriage” is awesome

    • December 11, 2012 7:12 pm

      Arranged Marriages FTW :)

  30. Tanushree permalink
    December 11, 2012 10:31 am

    It is my firm belief every girl (and the occasional male) these days already has a ‘private’ album titled ‘My big fat Indian wedding’ or ‘When two became one’ etc etc and the moment they do get married, it’s time to bust out those private albums.

    Well, I guess not really but it’s an amusing thought. Hah.

    Another photo op that seems to be very common these days – the bride looking sternly at the groom and the smart alecky comments that follow — ‘Ooh she’s already looking at you that way.’ Sigh.

    • December 11, 2012 7:14 pm

      I am pretty sure there is an album locked up somewhere waiting to be made public around the big day.

      Those “candid” shots and the comments under them are a goldmine indeed.

  31. December 11, 2012 11:33 am

    Awesome read. You haven’t mentioned about wedding card themes. There was this cadbury chocolate theme wedding card in my friend room . I almost ate it :D. I also happened to see SQL query wedding card :D which goes something like
    SELECT Bride FROM india_Brides WHERE FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’ :D

    • December 11, 2012 7:15 pm

      Now, the Cadbury Chocolate themed wedding card is something I’d like. Provided there is a real chocolate to go with it.

  32. maxy permalink
    December 11, 2012 12:14 pm

    totally agree :-)

  33. Sudipt agarwal permalink
    December 11, 2012 1:00 pm

    Rs 1000 scan was the most hilarious part

  34. Girish Gullapudi permalink
    December 11, 2012 4:36 pm

    The reason your Facebook feed is filled with these messages means you are also at a marriageable age as your peers :-)

  35. Sandy permalink
    December 11, 2012 4:43 pm

    the newest trend…. complete live coverage so that NRI friends and relatives can also watch the events…. LIVE!! omg… and this damn thing has a visitor counter too, one of my frnds the other day was like “dude.. u didnt come online for the wedding, he must have felt bad”… wtf!!

    • December 11, 2012 7:16 pm

      Hehe, so there is no escape at all? Sigh.

  36. rakeshraj permalink
    December 11, 2012 5:55 pm

    This is SO brilliant… I get angry if any of my close friends send me a FB invite for the wedding as a personal invite :D

    • December 11, 2012 7:26 pm

      Thankfully, none of my close friends did that to me. Yet.

  37. December 11, 2012 6:54 pm

    Awesome….. :) so true….

  38. Sravya permalink
    December 11, 2012 8:39 pm

    I think people get married for” Facebook”
    Even if they are not completely into their life partner and think that their partner is hideous looking then y worry when facebooks at their rescue …they suddenly are a “lovely couple” and are made for each other Facebook somehow gives a fake assurance to people that they could make it work out if their friends think so. Friends who actually are just being nice by liking their pictures and extra nice by complimenting… otherwise its the obnoxious photographer playing with them asking them to perform feats in air , lifts , titanic poses , much worse is editing the ugly pictures against a starry sky or greenary at its best… your article is hilarious ….keep writing …. wanna read more …. feels good knowing there’s a whole other world out there who thinks this way… ! Great writing pradyut !

    • December 16, 2012 3:51 pm

      Hahaha, I so wanted to write about the “lovely couple” part, but didn’t risk it. It’s actually quite funny to see couples going all out with their PDA in obscure poses at times.

      Thank you :)

  39. Devi permalink
    December 12, 2012 8:09 am

    True, entirely… But isn’t this what everyone wants? The attention seeker in all of us, get it on wedding day, and through Facebook, it has now got a celebrity feel instead! Anyway, do i smell some jealousy in between? ;) Anyway, well put! :) Sharing it, (via Facebook) :D

    • December 16, 2012 3:53 pm

      :)

  40. December 12, 2012 9:41 am

    yes too much of pics – which other people dont care to see – reminds of marriage album which use to lie later in drawing room – and for guests it was torture wen that album was handed to him to see – it was a real torture for poor guest – bechara guest dekhe moti album to mushqil na dekhe to mushqil

  41. December 12, 2012 12:57 pm

    October 8, 2000. You missed it :-)

  42. Aragonlav permalink
    December 12, 2012 6:44 pm

    ROFL..

    Hey you missed the later part.. when the couple have a baby.. they have fotos saying.. my prince, my angel, our angel.. and they name the baby with a name containing ‘-ish-’ in it.. and you have almost every moment captured and uploaded..

    To be honest, I used to think the same until a month ago before I decided to get married..

    Its okay to share your happiness with your close friends who cannot be present at your wedding coz of any reason. So they better utilize the facility of grouping your friends and have updates as per their interests..

    Thanks guys.. you really made it clear with the things to do and not to do.. I dont want people to think like above (or like how I did before ;)).. hehehe..

    and I could not stop laughing at the last question.. when r u getting married.. hehehe..

    • December 16, 2012 3:57 pm

      For all you know, I could be one of those shares everything on facebook when I get married. So, go ahead and share it the way you want. And, congratulations on the marriage :)

  43. Sri permalink
    December 12, 2012 11:25 pm

    you must be so against marriage… lol

    Those are some magical moments… that could be cherished until one’s last breathe.. and what’s wrong in having them captured… Trying to be too practical, huh? :) lol!

    P.S : No I am not one of those trendsetters on Facebook..

  44. December 13, 2012 3:05 am

    You should say thanks to the photographers… :)

    Or-else you wouldn’t have got this many poses to name :P

  45. akshay permalink
    December 13, 2012 6:43 am

    one of d most difficult assignments candid wedding shoots both still and video, d amount of dedication, creativity, hard work is something great and i really salute them, yet there are some crap photographers trying to show off forget abt them.. but seriously one can never tell like this.. wat kind of knowledge or whatever tat person has to talk some crap like this …

    There are so many things involved here.. one can never explain or make these kind of morons understand with no knowledge …

    • December 16, 2012 3:58 pm

      :(

  46. Santosh permalink
    December 13, 2012 8:46 am

    Looks like you are either married or getting married (in all cases, u don’t look satisfied)…;-) BTW, I wud love to know the name of ur wedding photographer (u must be having one, isn’t it).

    • December 16, 2012 3:58 pm

      I can neither confirm nor deny that ;)

  47. December 13, 2012 10:10 am

    Amazing Post! The very reason why I dread visiting Facebook.

    A guy thought it would be very creative to quote “Chetan Bhagat” on the wedding invite.
    Needless to say, I didn’t attend the wedding! :-|

    • December 16, 2012 3:59 pm

      Hehe :)

  48. December 15, 2012 12:32 pm

    Lolzz….amazing post. I can relate to some aspects so well given its the wedding season…esp the paragraph that speaks about the vicious cycle…Hillarious!

  49. December 15, 2012 4:03 pm

    Funny!!!!

  50. nits permalink
    December 17, 2012 5:29 am

    You’re Invited! (ie when and if I am able to wade through the troll market and score a husband!)

  51. December 18, 2012 9:40 am

    Loved this. Cant stop laughing.

  52. SRK permalink
    December 19, 2012 1:50 am

    hehe, its true. I know a girl who posted the pic of her bed, how her husband had decorated it with rose petals. :D heights.

  53. diksha permalink
    December 19, 2012 9:54 am

    honey bunny ad has spawned a new series of ‘honey bunny’ photo shoots :)

  54. December 29, 2012 3:07 pm

    Awesomely well written and laugh-out funny! Thanks for this!

  55. Mandeep permalink
    January 25, 2013 6:50 am

    I feel the problem is not limited to just photography. Every Tom, Dick and Harry considers him/herself a blogger not a days.

    • January 31, 2013 6:15 pm

      We are actually fine with the self-professed-bloggers, as long as they can at least spell correctly! :-/

  56. kailash permalink
    February 28, 2013 6:51 pm

    This is the first time i read ur blog….very funny….amazing post !!

  57. May 18, 2013 3:13 pm

    Veritthanam!!!! MASSu!!

  58. sudhatanaya permalink
    May 20, 2013 9:19 am

    Well deployed… Enjoyed reading…

  59. June 19, 2013 1:23 pm

    when is yuvar merez?

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